*Caution this may hurt your manly man feelings.
Enough dudes, bros, guys, boys, men, males. It's time call bullshit on the defenders of the status quo of gender inequality and protectors of sexism. I've been working on Dear Men Tomorrow now for over a year and heard all your forms of defence including attacks on both me and women, like this one from old mate Les.
"Just stop spreading your hate speech. Women overwhelmingly have privilege in our society and yet take an underwhelming level of responsibility."
When I say we guys have to call out disrespect of women in all forms and you said "but women disrespect men" or "I want equality for everyone", you do know you are protecting the status quo where a disproportionate amount of women are killed or hurt by men? Seriously do you want it to change? Do you want safety for women and girls? Cos you sure don't sound like it. You sound like someone who wants to argue over nothing but small minded personal gripes that take the conversation off topic from saving lives.
When I've said "end rape jokes" you told me "come on don't be too pc it's just a bit of fun". Do I really need to connect the dots between disrespectful jokes and the status quo you are protecting, where boys hunt in social media packs to rate girls against porn fuelled hyper-sexualised and derogatory fantasies.
Do you want change? Or are you happy supporting rape of young women on campus who just want to have a night out on the "turps" with their friends? You never have to plan for your nights out with friends to end with your body battered and violated, defending your choice of wardrobe, drink and answering questions about whether or not you had somehow caused this person to attack you. But what, you can't empathise and convert that empathy into support and action for women who do face this and have faced this? What's wrong you? Defend your atrocious actions or appalling lack of action? The onus is now on you. You aren't innocent if you condone this behaviour or question the victim.
By the way, when you talk about how women / girls dress in a way that's infused with sexual desire, innuendo or some expectation of gratitude for your unsolicited compliment, or worse, indignity when your "compliment" wasn't met with adulation...you are the status quo.
Oh and to all the fence sitters who say nothing about any disrespect towards women or the ones who have opinions on the girls / women sharing nude selfies but the not the men / boys breaking the law and the trust of women; you are supporting the male biased status quo. You can't just cherry pick the bits of equality you support. Go all in and understand what that means, or continue to work against gaining equality through your selective ignorance.
So here's the deal, join the fight for equality or stay living in the Mens Matrix, the entitled male biased world that's been pulled down over our eyes for centuries aka a patriarchal society. We didn't make it but once you know it exists you have a moral obligation to dissolve it. This is the fight and you are needed / wanted / invited into it. There is no arguing for balance when it's been out of balance in mens favour for centuries. It's going to take a big push from all of us to get the scales to balance (equality). A few token, man approved, gestures won't cut it. This is a long fight.
You might be defensive by now because I've challenged you and you've never hit a women. you're one of the "good guys". I need you to understand that this is about calling out disrespect of women in all forms, so it can no longer grow in some men to hate, violence and murder. Telling jokes, judging women and girls about what they wear, language that disadvantages females, double standards, pink and blue jobs at home etc. You know what I'm talking about. Change begins in the tiniest actions and seemingly small moments. For some people they dare not go there. It's easier to lash out than to look inwards or question themselves or their upbringing. This is standard operating procedure for those who are unaware they've been raised in a patriarchal society with unconscious male biased behaviour. Push through it, please don't let your hurt feelings stop you getting into the fight for gender equality. Sit with them and remind yourself, this is what evolving and growing feels like, bloody uncomfortable.
If you're still hesitating, believing there actually is a fence you are sitting on, I need to wake you by provoking you some more. This is bigger than you and your mum issues or your hurt inner man-child about that one time a women hurt your feelings. Get over it, get over your guilt of being a sexist douche, most of us have been one (after all we were raised in the Patriarchal Matrix), this is about you calling out any of your own out-of-date, unconscious disrespectful attitudes towards women, giving yourself permission to change and evolve to a be a better man. You don't need to make a song and dance about calling yourself out, do it in a quiet reflective moment. This is the red pill that gets you out of the Mens Matrix and onto the path of becoming a man who will call out his mates, colleagues and anyone else who defends the status quo that leads to inequality, murder, violence and denial of freedom for women. It won't be easy for you, change never is, but you've got my support and backing. It's just one guy, but it's a start. I have some mates who will back you too. What do you say, you in brother?
Andrew the admin of Dear Men of Tomorrow.